Fabled Story of King Akalam and the Mighty Bobo

Based on a true story

that was once told

Once upon a time there was a great ruler named King Akalam who governed many people across a vast and fertile landscape. A daunting figure who stood over seven feet tall with a muscular physique, he had unmatched physical strength. He was respected as a fierce defender of his kingdom by both friend and foe alike. 

But the King’s greatest strength came from a secret friend whom he summoned with his hands on a regular basis to get independent thinking advice, stress relief, and to also boost his confidence in performing as a leader. 

Over recent years a great drought had besieged the kingdom depriving everyone of life giving water. Animals were dying at an alarming rate, crop fields had dried up, and the land had became baron. People were starving and becoming very weak and ill. Exasperated with fear and panic, people of the kingdom rushed to the palace. 

“Oh great King Akalam – the drought is killing us all. 

Please help us or your kingdom will be no more."

 The King sat quiet for a moment, and then rose from his throne. He began to stretch his arms upward and slowly tilted his head back until he was looking straight up into the deep sky with arms stretched wide open.

He paused for a brief moment and then with a deep breath called out, “Oh Mighty Bobo – the all knowing of all things; who raises men’s passions in the face of steep mountains and deep plush valleys; with an eye for seeking out the dark center of Uranus; whose aching blue wells shower life giving nectar; help us Oh Mighty Bobo in our most desperate time of suffering.

Oh Mighty Bobo; answer our prayers, make your presence known, and help my people.”  

 Everyone stood silent holding their breaths with anticipation. Suddenly, the front of King Akalam’s robe began to open around the belt-line.  

A smooth flesh colored object appeared and slowly pushed its way outward exposing a bald shinny head with searing eyes, a big nose, and a mouth with puffy cheeks. Enjoying everyone’s focus and attention, this head looked around with a devilish grin at everyone starring at him.  

"I am the Mighty Bobo - the true head of men's heads, with an everlasting urge for massage, and yes, my best friend is someone named Phil A. Show.  But forget all that - I have the solution to your problem." 

All of a sudden the head of Mighty Bobo began to tense up and stretch outward and upward. Then with great surprise, the Mighty Bobo squirted out a voluminous stream that drenched everyone and everything putting an end to the terrible drought and saving the entire kingdom.

People immediately erupted into a loud cheer and spontaneously began to chant in unison  “Bo-bo, Bo-bo, Bo-bo”.  

Everyone was pleasurably all wet and extremely excited.  People celebrated and danced having regained a sense of new hope and relief.

Having solved the problem at hand, the Mighty BoBo proudly gleaned a wide smile and said - “Who loves ya baby?”.  

He then put on his hat and sunglasses and placed a lollipop into his mouth and faded away slowly disappearing back into the King's robe.

And that is the fabled story of 

King Akalam and the Mighty Bobo.

(yes, slightly modified from the original) 

In loving memory 

of a dear good friend